Collom Collaboration, Continued

Culling more old journals, lovely lurkers, and I came across this Q&A poem and this acrostic that Jack Collom and I wrote together back in April 2001, when I had the great honor to be his apprentice/assistant for teaching poetry to my Mom’s 3/4th grade class. This was not done in class, but at a coffee shop after one of our sessions together. Again, it’s long enough ago that other than a phrase here and there, I don’t remember which lines were mine, which his.


Q: One lump or two?

A: Just one big one’ll about cover it

Q: Who’s the boss?

A: That guy with the ears.

Q: Or is he?

A: Well, he just flapped outta here. Now what?

Q: Yeah, now what?

A: Okay, okay, um… why don’t we get the committee on that?

Q: Did that count as a question?

A: Just as sure as it rains little tin goslings.

Q: Okay, let’s get serious. Where are we?

A: With the pelicans, of course. An interplanetary time vortex. But the real question is,

Q: How do we get out of here?

A: Play like a dead fish and let Pelican Transport take over — we’ll all get lumped in together.


T ry to be kind to me, dear, or I’ll shoot you with my cold .41–

W hoa, man, can you stop for a minute? If you shoot me my life is done.

O h shit, but a new song starts in three minutes.

T oo bad, Dude Ranch, you knew the job was dangerous.

(R umble rumble)… I’m trying to start up my Rolls Royce SUV.

A w crap, not you too! Here, let me get out the

C rank: (rrrrrr… phut phut…) Whoosh! Hey, what’s that big bump in the road,

K ilimanjaro? Holy Hornets! It can’t be! Turn left, no, right, no…

(S mash crash tinkle) — This is no time or place for a tinkle. Now look what you’ve done…


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